so as much as being at home isn't too fun, being at morehead isn't always great either. last year i only went home three times the whole year and each time that i went home, i didn't wanna go back to school. i've already been home three times this semester and each time thus far i've wanted to go back for the most part.

i haven't been the greatest at keeping in touch w/ my old high school friends. for some ppl i've tried and others, i know i haven't made the effort at all. there are a few ppl here that i can catch up w/ right when i see them, even if i haven't talked to them since august or even december. like aleta for one. i haven't seen her since my birthday and we've only talked once since, not counting a few emails. she's like the one person that i come home to see. i could not ask for a more caring friend. how anyone can be friends since the third grade and never get into a fight should say something. so when she gets over this sickness and is able to have visitors, i know we'll catch up since we both have major stuff to tell each other. :) MAJOR!!!

of course i could call ashleigh, emily, or melissa and we'd have fun hanging out w/ prolly few awkward moments, but so far i just haven't been up to making the effort to call anyone. i prefer when ppl call me. i can't help it; that's the only way i feel wanted. i don't want to bug other ppl, if they wanna hang w/ me, they'll call me.

but there is one person. not mentioning his name. i can't even figure out how we became friends in the 1st place. yeah our dads have known each other since before we were born, but we never went to the same school until hs. yeah he dated a friend of mine in 8th grade and we hung out a lil in washington dc, but he was too busy scamming on aleta and i was too busy w/ another guy. so somehow our junior yr we had one class together and talked a lil. not enough to constitute a real close friendship or anything. we hung out w/ different crowds at that time too. then senior yr rolls around and i suddenly become waaaaay different w/ everything that i went through. personality, looks, everything. and during the week of homecoming this guy suddenly was paying me all this attention. i acted like it was friendly stuff. even tho i think i wanted it. screw the college boyfriend, this guy was here all the time. my friends kept pointing out how often he was around and stuff he'd say...nothing ever happened tho. then when i got little he was the first one who helped me realize how much i had lost. but it happened in a good way, so i was thankful. then whole 2cent whore comment wasn't always the nicest, but i let it slide. he was always w/ the wrong girls. young girls. immature girls. just b/c he thought that was what he was supposed to do. riiiight. then our last trimester senior yr having chem2 together. of course i set it up so that we'd be partners and aleta and melissa were partners. we had so much fun. he was the single person who understood about softball who wasn't directly involved. he was my solace. so was his house. and that hour and a half that we spent at his house every coupla days before we had to go to cadet teaching. how many times did we watch remember the titans and eat mac and cheese? thinking of our talks and just laying together kept me in a good mood while riding the bus to all those softball games. then he started dating this girl and i knew that he just didn't have a clue. then last yr like in oct he has asked if i ever thought about us being together. he had too. if we had been at the same school, it could have worked prolly, but not when we're like 3 hrs apart. then he starts dating a girl from ball state. like that wasn't a long distance thing. but i didn't care. then over Christmas break last year, we became really close. ppl asked how i had his cell memorized....well it happens. then he tried to kiss me and b/c of that gf i said no. i still wonder why i did that. then i didn't see him again until the day before i was leaving for school in august. and we'd hardly talked at all since like march. but i went to say goodbye and he wasn't the same guy i remembered. he was no longer a skinny kid, w/ all the baseball conditioning he got built...why'd he have to answer the door w/o a shirt on?? you're killing me. but the best part was the curly hair. wow!! he got hot at college and i realized that i could have had it, but it was too late. so we hardly talked at all this semester. maybe 2 convos max. then i come home and we start talking one night. the other night. it's 12:40am. and after it was determined that neither of us was doing anything and were bored, he asked if i wanted to come over and i could stay the night if i wanted. i debated for 10 minutes....and ya know i hate making decisions. so i went for it. tricked the parents and left. so let's just say that he's home until the 12th, hmmmm same as me and the offer's already on the table again. so i think this'll be a good break. why shouldn't it be after all his on again/off again gf are on a break again....so why shouldn't i have a good break time?? hmmm yeah i can't think of any reason either ;)

#10-Rabid Squirrel
#9-"Are Ya Crazy" deer incident
#8-Pike Mixer....a lil pre-party indigestion for db, which can only be cured by drinking baking soda
#7-Football game after initiation, who would have known games don't start in the 4th quarter?
#6-Sunday Night Ritual (including the library) with the kids and of course the IHII Forority (Founding Members)
#5- Homecoming with our Alum MILF and Lesbian
#4-Being in our Drunken states without alcohol
#3-Quality time with Dr. Haller at Wal-Mart and other adventures
#2-Thursday, December 5, 2002=Every occurance after 10pm....a certain Pike coming thru a Gilley window after molesting the kitchenware.....
VILLAGE!! shouldn't the cops be here by now? and the list goes on.....
#1-Parrot searching in Morehead....d-a-m-n the claw, "it's laughing at us"

i know who you are.
i know how you make me feel.
i know how it's gonna be.

i know more than you think.
i know how other ppl see you.
i know that i don't care.

i know how things used to be.
i wish sometimes that they were still like that.
i miss you. more than you know. but i know.