the new american webster handy college dictionary defines confuse (confusion) as 1. throw into disorder 2. perplex; disconcert 3. mistake for another.

so i'm real confused. quick side note, why is confused present tense when ed-endings on most words show past tense? nerd alert nerd alert. back to the real deal though. life in general confuses me. i think one minute i know my friends then i find out that i really don't know them like i think i do. it doesn't really feel like their such good friends after that ya know.

i understand people, i just don't understand their motives or their thought processes. that's not really my job too, so i guess i just need to learn that i can't always know everything.

i am utterly confused (props to ca's stats prof for that one) in my classes now though. physio especially. maybe if i actually read the material and cared about it then i'd do better. but we all know that i usually put half-A effort into most of my schoolwork. if i'm not interested then i don't wanna do it.

confusion isn't fun b/c then it shows that you're not ignorant and can't play dumb. it shows that you actually care. even when you don't to, like w/ the physio.

confusion and worry are almost synonomous in my book. or maybe it's like a cause and effect situation. when i'm confused and don't know the outcome then i get worried.

i hate worrying. i hate being confused. i'd much rather go along being naive and just plain not knowing then knowing 50% and wondering about the other 50%.

so my intentions tonight were to write about one thing. then katie just sent me a quote and made me think.

"why should i fall for you, when you're not strong enough to catch me?"

that hits me really hard. i've had mixed emotions lately. you know what i'm talking about. ok maybe you don't b/c i have only told like one real person. and now i got distracted and lost the feelings that i was gonna right about. what the hell?

keep me off im for the love of Morehead.

Could you let down your hair
Be transparent for awhile?
Just a little while
To see if you're human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like
We've got it all figured out
Well let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
Ain't gonna to pretend like I do

Just trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way
The best I know how

Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this art form someday
If i quote all the lines off the top of my head
Would you believe
I fully understand all these things I've read

I'm just trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way the best that I know how

Well I haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
Even if it takes my whole life to get to where I need to be
and if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you

Tryin to find my way
Tryin to find my way
Tryin to find my way