i'm tired of playing games. sometimes it's fun to have a lil drama, but not the everyday new event kind. i need a break. i should have gotten one during the long weekend, too much time out, not enough thinking time. so this weekend for sure, i am going to get some thinking time in. i need to be alone to talk some stuff out aloud w/o any interruptions. don't get me wrong, i love being around my friends. it's just that sometimes i need to be alone to process my thoughts and feelings. i'm sure everyone has the same needs. like when i saw jake's women and he did all that role playing stuff, that's kinda what i need on a regular basis. i dunno why though. i just work that way. maybe it's the psych in me.

so back to where i started. i hate being confused. i like living in my naive lil world where things go my way and happen according to how i plan or how i see fit. please stop clouding my vision. everyone really, not just one person. goes back to the flake issue. i let ppl shade my views. i really need to stop that.

so i just realized that i write abstractly and rarely talk about events or specific issues anymore. why is that? is it b/c i don't want ppl to know or b/c i wanna forget? my money's on the former, but who's to say.

ehhh enough for tonight. i need sleep.